Dave Ling Online


If you know of an outstanding quote that you think belongs on these pages please send it in, along with a reference to the source of the quote.

"I always thought that Pink Floyd were a band for people who don't like music or rock 'n' roll."
Jack Bruce.

"[It should be] thrown into the dustbin and never listened to by anyone ever again."
Roger Waters on the Floyd's 'Atom Heart Mother' suite, from 1970.

"Sometimes. Usually. But not much."
David Gilmour when asked in 1968 whether Pink Floyd took drugs onstage.

"I raised the guys from Classic Rock magazine; they used to be crawling around in the back lounge [of our tourbus], getting blowjobs."
White Lion's Mike Tramp - um, he's lying... honest!

"What Kiss is doing right now reminds me of like what some great fighters did when they come out of retirement, when they should have just rolled up the towel [and quit]. That's the way it seems to me now. It's getting embarrassing."
Ace Frehley says what everyone else is thinking.

"[We are] part Chippendales, part rock band."
Vivian Campbell on Def Leppard's image.

"People ask how I learned to play bass [the way I do]. With a face like mine, you learn to do a lot of things with one hand."
Peter Steele of Type O Negative.

"Metal is dead and I am done with it."
Rob Halford, speaking in 1996.

"I recorded my 'Electric' album [1999] at their studio Lartington Hall in County Durham. One day the guys were playing this horrible, horrible music. I asked, 'What the hell's this? Is something wrong with the studio?' They said, ‘No, it's Venom. It’s meant to sound like that'. It was absolutely fucking horrible, so I made them turn it off."
Paul Rodgers recalls the day he first heard Venom.

"You've unleashed the fucking fury."
Yngwie Malmsteen famously threatens a fellow airline passenger after she spills a glass of water on him.

"Gene's a prat. He's just a silly man in a silly wig. He's just a prat. What more is there to say about him? He's his own worst enemy by being in the public eye."
Sharon Osbourne, who obviously has no knowledge of pots or kettles...

"Earnestness is our business and this is the revolution."
Pretentious? Ian Astbury of The Cult?! Never!

"Our tour will be a gathering place for desperate souls. People who've been disappointed by watered-down, mediocre rock 'n' roll. A lot of rock bands are like little kids playing with big-boy toys - we're playing by big-boy rules. This tour is for people who need meat in their sandwich."
Astbury once again, still hell-bent on making Pseuds' Corner.

"What about all you wankers back there? Make some noise. You sound like a herd of syphilitic pussies."
Lamb Of God's Randy Blythe gently introduces himself to Heaven And Hell's audience in Birmingham, 2007.

"We don't mind getting laughed at. We're in good company - all the great composers were laughed at, misunderstood, ridiculed..."
Joey DeMaio of Manowar in 1994.

"Going to England used to be like dying, being reborn and going to Valhalla, but the British lost their minds. They betrayed the cause of heavy metal by going grunge several years ago. Let's just hope they come to their senses."
DeMaio in the same interview.

"Geffen Records are so excited to have Manowar on their label. They are, indeed, very fortunate."
'Modesty' is Joey's middle name.

"Tommy Thayer used to be in a Kiss tribute band - and he still is!"
Ace Frehley on the successor that wears his stage make-up.

"Jimmy Bain couldn't mix cement. A lot of heroin was being taken, that's why it's a crap album."
Brian Robertson on 'Stand Your Ground', Wild Horses' 1981 swansong.

"If I could have my own chicken coop in the studio, my own world to live in, I could play a lot better."
Ex-GN'R guitarist Buckethead - and we wonder why we're **still** waiting for the 'Chinsese Democracy' album.

"[UFO bassist] Pete Way gave me a cassette he'd made of Free. It blew me away from the opening notes. I was writing songs for my first solo album at the time, and it was like I had to stop the car, get out, set fire to the car, and get a new car..."
Joe Bonamassa on the day he discovered the real meaning of the blues.

"We will continue until the spandex explodes."
Twisted Sister's Dee Snider.

"Hopefully I'll die onstage like Tommy Cooper. I always thought that he went out really well - to the sound of laughter. I am going to hell, though. That's where all the pool tables are."
Lemmy Kilmister.

"I'm more concerned about W Axl Rose's facelifts than his hair. Seriously, he looks like a candle that's starting to melt".
Brian Fair, Shadows Fall.

"No, I can't play the guitar like [classical master Andrés] Segovia, but the flipside of that is that Segovia could probably never have played like me."
Was Kurt Cobain **really** being serious about the above in 1994?

"We're more like [late-'60s kids TV show] The Banana Splits than the [glam-metal] 'dudes' of Sunset Strip."
Jay Pepper of Tigertailz.

"Ronnie James Dio is one of the vilest people in the industry."
Ex-Dio/current Def Leppard guitarist Vivian Campbell.

"I hope Vivian Campbell fucking dies. He's a fucking asshole. He called me the most despicable human being that ever lived. I thought I gave him a chance and made him somebody. And now he's playing with Def fucking who? There's a fucking rock band for you to fucking have diarrhea with."
Ronnie bites back #1.

"Let me go on record as saying here's a man who smells like chicken soup. I've smelled better Spaniards at gigs in Pamplona than Vivian Campbell."
Ronnie bites back #2.

"A French magazine printed my obituary. How did I die? I dunno, it was in French."
Lemmy Kilmister

"Can you imagine any 14-year-old girl screaming at us in ecstasy?"
Magnum's Bob Catley... and no, we can only comprehend them doing that on ecstasy!

"Mae West whispered to me, 'Why don't you come on back to my trailer?' I said: 'Because you're 86 years old and I'm not even sure if you're a woman or not'. But if I hadn't have been married I would've gone. Definitely. Just for the experience."
Alice Cooper.

"I met Elvis Presley in Las Vegas in 1974. The place was bristling with guns. Elvis asked me to hold a gunand started demonstrating how to kick [it] out of someone's hand. I'm standing there with a loaded .38, aiming it at Elvis [and] part of me's going, 'Shoot him! Shoot him!' Ha-ha!"
Alice Cooper once again.

"I still use it, now and again. If Percy isn't pointing at the pulchritude then he needs a bit of a push. What's wrong with that?"
Lemmy on Viagra.

"I won't watch it because I don't want to think of Metallica like fragile fucking old men that can't have a cocktail because they're afraid of what they'll become. Fuck that!"
Kerry King from Slayer's view on the Some Kind Of Monster movie.

"Oh listen, the reason we did that movie was to piss Kerry King off. If he hated Some Kind Of Monster, that's the only stamp of approval that I need."
The right to reply goes to Lars Ulrich.

"Warner Brothers Records know [all] about my bodily functions. I sent them cum. I signed my record contract in piss. I Fed-Exed a diaper full of shit to them from Paris."
Ministry's Al Jourgensen.

"I'm the only man who's fighting to save this planet, whilst living on another."
Ulp! Could it be possible that Jon Anderson, the environmentally-conscious Yes vocalist, has a sense of humour after all?!

"Ritchie [Blackmore] is a giant amongst guitar players, I don't think anyone would dispute that. But he's an intellectual dwarf."
Ian Gillan of Deep Purple, October 1993.

"One of these days I'm going to attack Ian Gillan in a back alley. He's bigger than me, and probably a better fighter, so I'm gonna do it with a few friends of mine - probably Swedish. We'll beat him up, but he won't know it's me."
Blackmore responds.

"Study law and buy a gun."
Noel Redding of the Jimi Hendrix Experience's advice when asked how to forge a career in the music business.

"Very good question... now all we need is a very good answer. I don't know."
Phil Mogg when, in 1985, a writer asked him if new UFO fans expected the band to sound like the Scorpions or Iron Maiden.

"Maiden consistently sell 80 to 100,000 albums in Japan. Metallica continue to be enormous. Bruce Springsteen is massive. But AC/DC don't [even] exist over here. Forget it."
Bruce Dickinson on the vagaries of the Oriental music market.

"If you want to stop the spread of AIDS around the world, give it to Z Records to distribute."
Ex-Tyketto/Vaughn singer Danny Vaughn.

"I may be three years older than Jim Morrison, but I'm three years younger than Jesus. I'm just waiting to be crucified."
If self-obsession were to be made a capital offence, HIM's Ville Vallo would certainly be a marked man.

"When Nirvana played unplugged it was truly horrible. They were adequate rock musicians, [but] the format left them floundering."
Ian Anderson, Jethro Tull.

"Anybody attending this tour will go to Valhalla."
Manowar's Eric Adams, 2007.

"It's verging on ridiculous. Al was in the band before electricity, if I remember."
KK Downing on Al Atkins' insistence upon billing himself as Judas Priest's former singer.

"I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow [cocaine]. My dad wouldn't have cared. It went down pretty well and I'm still alive."
Keith Richards takes parental bonding to new levels.

"How many of you communicated with the dead recently? Come on London, you have a great history as renowned necromancers. I find it easy to communicate to the dead because they seem to listen, unlike the living."
Celtic Frost bassist Martin Eric Ain introduces 'Necromantical Screams' at London's Koko, March 2007.

"The main personality difference between myself and Ritchie [Blackmore] was that I was terrific and he was a twat."
Deep Purple's Ian Gillan turns psycho-analyst.

"It was pretty obvious, really. Ritchie must have been suffering from pre-minstrel tension."
Ian Paice's on Blackmore's final exit from Purple, back in 1993.

"There's nobody like us at the moment. There's Alice Cooper and Kiss, but we're much better than those bands."
Lordi guitar player Amen shoots his mouth off.

"Well, good. When Lordi are working in the shoe store next year they can tell everybody that. Bravado's great, but what separates the champs from the chumps is what you achieve, not what you believe."
Paul Stanley responds witheringly to the above.

"Ozzy Osbourne is a moron. He couldn't carry a tune around in a suitcase. Ozzy, you'll never be welcome here again and nobody needs you."
Ronnie James Dio hits the press trail for the 'Mob Rules' album in 1981.

"Bless Ozzy. He's a special, special person. He's one of the creators of heavy metal music. A wonderful man. I hope he and Sharon's lives are very happy."
Ronnie at the Classic Rock Awards in 2006. Er... so what changed?!

"Sharon told me about a place where they teach you to drink properly. It was the Betty Ford Centre. I thought, 'That's it! I've been doing it wrong!'. So I walk in, expecting a demonstration of how to drink a Martini, and I say, 'Hi Betty Ford, where's the bar?' This receptionist is like, 'What?!'"
Ozzy Osbourne.

"It's ironic that Ozzy can play for the Queen, but not show up for two Ozzfests."
Slayer's Kerry King.

"Everybody has their faults. I'm a stuttering Irish git, John [McCoy]'s a fat bastard and Robin [Guy]'s a drummer."
Bernie Tormé of GMT introduces his band-mates at the Peel in Kingston, August 2006.

"The record absolutely sucks"
In 2006, Rachel Bolan finally speaks the truth about Skid Row's 'Subhuman Race' album.

"I always related more to the guitar than I did to people."
Ritchie Blackmore, also in 2006.

"He looks like he's wearing a coyote on his head."
US comedian Andrew 'Dice' Clay on Gene Simmons (it's more of a water buffalo to me).

"The answer is [for the coalition] to get the fuck out of there, build a wall around it and sell fucking tickets."
Lemmy of Motörhead's answer to the Middle East problem.

"Everybody chill the hell out, y'know? Go get a cocktail. Relax... They should put in a whole bunch of Irish taverns; forget the blitzkreig and have a couple of beers."
And Zakk Wylde from Black Label Society's solution to this crisis.

"The British music press are fucking wankers. They eat shit in the bath."
Freddie Mercury onstage in London, 1978.

"I'm as gay as a daffodil, dear."
Freddie Mercury again.

"If I didn't have Freddie Mercury's lyrics to hold on to as a kid, I don't know where I'd be now."
W Axl Rose; thanks a lot for nothing, Fred

"Four inch nails is more like it!"
Courney Love on hitting the sack with Trent Reznor.

"If she died tomorrow, I wouldn't shed a tear. She's a very evil person."
Trent on Courtney.

"I didn't ask to save rock, I don't even like rock that much."
Trent once more - presumption is his middle name.

"Listen, I have no clue who you are, but we both know who I am. So shut the fuck up and listen to my music."
Megadeth's Dave Mustaine silences a heckler.

"I'm a family-oriented guy. I've personally started four or five [of them] this year already."
David Lee Roth.

"We sound like the Bay City Rollers after an assault by Black Sabbath."
Kurt Cobain on Nirvana.

"Fuck political correctness, that went down with the World Trade Centre."
Blackie Lawless of W.A.S.P.

"I'm an egomaniac with an inferiority complex."
Eric 'God' Clapton.

"I've been imitated so well I've heard people copy my mistakes."
Jimi Hendrix.

"All the bad things that happened to me were directly attributed to drugs and alcohol. I would never piss on the fucking Alamo at nine o'clock in the morning dressed in a woman's evening dress whilst sober."
Ozzy Osbourne... though midday's not outta the question.

"I love women, they should be naked backstage all the time."
Motörhead's Lemmy.

"I don't own a gun. Actually, I own about 150 guns."
James Hetfield of Metallica.

"Rod Stewart, Elton John and I were going to form a band called Hair, Nose & Teeth, named after the three of us. But it hasn't happened yet because nobody could agree on the order of the words!"
Freddie 'The Teeth' Mercury.

"There was a period during the 1970s when all the acid labs in the world were working at full production, just to keep the Manband supplied."
Deke Leonard, Man.

"Here's some songs I used to do with Black Sabbath before they employed a midget. How can a four-foot poof sing about the devil?"
Ozzy Osbourne takes a swipe at Ronnie James Dio onstage in the 80s.

"Nicko McBrain and I have had some belting arguments. We've been virtually nose-to-nose screaming at each other, and with his nose being so flat, that's very close up."
Iron Maiden's Steve Harris.

"If I was going to listen to anybody, I'd listen to me. I love the stuff I do. It's the greatest. I've played things that were just the ultimate. If there had been blind people in the audience, they'd have walked away from the gig seeing."

Ted Nugent blowing his own trumpet again, back in 1977.

"I was supposed to do a solo record many years ago and I wanted Alex Harvey, Steve Marriott and Bon Scott [all now sadly deceased] to be on it. So if ever I ask you to be on my solo record, say no."
Rick Neilsen, Cheap Trick.

"Some people are hams. I'm the whole pig. Look at me, I'll take my shirt off."
Paul Stanley of Kiss. Just don't rupture that hip replacement, Starchild...

"It kinda looks like a German military helmet. It says 'Made in Japan' right back here."
Nick Simmons on his dad Gene's alleged 'hair'.

"He'll [do a] work out, but the hair doesn't sweat."
Sophie, Gene's daughter, gets in on the act.

"Sebastian Bach hasn't changed. He's still low IQ, high RPM."
Manager Doc McGhee in the VH1 reality show Supergroup.

"Who's the fraud now, bitch? Get in the ring. Go to the gym, motherfucker. Or get a new wig, you fat, botox-faced, wig-wearin' fuck!"
Velvet Revolver's Scott Weiland lays it down to W Axl Rose.

"I was the Norman Wisdom [the UK's veteran comedy bungler] of burglary. I did everything wrong, like wearing gloves with no fingers."
Ozzy Osbourne, 1989.

"Crimson Glory are not The Beatles, but we've lasted twice as long."
Jon Drenning, (hopefully) sending himself up in the band's 20th anniversary year of 2006.

"Touring with Mötley Crüe [in the summer of 2005] was a farce. We did it just for the money. Their collective IQ barely reaches room temperature. The funniest thing was that Tommy Lee loves Killing Joke, but he was so busy filming ladies' breasts to realise we were actually on the road with him. What high culture."
Killing Joke's Jaz Coleman.

"The songwriting on their last two records ['Jugulator' and 'Demolition'] just sucked a big dick."
Slayer's master of subtlety, Kerry King, on Judas Priest.

"Let Flynn talk some more if he's got stupid shit like that to say. He'll bury himself. But if I was a cartoon character, I'd probably put a fucking grenade in his gut."
King turns his attention to Robb Flynn from Machine Head.

"The guy's a jerk, a lard ass. He's eaten so many cheeseburgers his brain's clogging up. It's hard to get offended when the guy who's talking trash about you looks like Right Said Fred with a beard, and wears ass-less leather chaps. Where I live, in San Francisco, that'd be Kerry Queen."
Flynn's top-notch response.

"I believe in metal more than anybody you've ever met. I'm prepared to die for metal. Are you?"
Joey DeMaio of Manowar during a 2006 interview with Rock Hard magazine.

"Adding rap to rock music is a bit like taking the most beautiful girl you've ever seen to a plastic surgeon, then asking him to give her a penis."
Manowar's Karl Logan.

"No, not really. I don't think that that publication is too widely circulated."
Peter Steele of Type O Negative on whether his appearance in Playgirl changed his life.

"It was a dark day when she got naked in Playboy. Oh my God, girl. Pay the $3,700 and raise those puppies up - yuk! Hahaha."
Mötley Crüe's Nikki Sixx on Ginger Spice.

"I fucking hate them. It's just Spinal Tap, isn't it? Just a lark. I'm not sure they think so, though."
Jon Bon Jovi on The Darkness.

"My epitaph should read: I told you I was sick."
Meat Loaf.

"Madam, you're a banquet of a woman!"
David Coverdale, to a lady who exposed her breasts at Whitesnake's Hammersmith Apollo show.

"I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat, but that's okay - the bat had to get Ozzy shots."
Ozzy Osbourne.

"It's not how big your pencil is; it's how you write your name."
Megadeth's Dave Mustaine.

"I think that quotes are very dangerous things."
Kate Bush.

"Sir Cliff [Richard]'ll never stop doing 'Summer Holiday', and it's the same with us."
Pete Way, on why UFO still play so many songs from their live album 'Strangers In The Night'.

"I wouldn't know about any of the newer bands. We're a bit past the pimple stage."
AC/DC's Angus Young.

"I was born in 1949 - which seems like a long time ago. Actually, it is a long time ago, when I think about it."
Rick Wakeman of Yes.

"Angels cry because they want to experience what you and I feel: the moment. They live in eternity. They don't know what it is like to read a newspaper and get ink on your fingers. They don't know what it is like to take your shoes off and wiggle your toes under the dinner table."
Carlos Santana.

"People see our logo and think we are blood-drinking devil worshippers. Which we are, of course."
Adrian Smith, Iron Maiden.

"David Lee Roth was great in Van Halen, no question about it. He was one of the best at being Mr. Rock Star. 20 years later it's sickening to see a guy still trying to be that but wearing a wig."
Sammy Hagar.

"At our age, you don't want to stop. Because if you stop, you might not get back up again."
Alex Van Halen.

"The success of The Osbournes as a TV show is an indictment of the soullessness of mankind."
Ted Nugent, for once speaking from his mouth and not his behind.

"They were doing a dance that [they hoped] would give them some credibility."
Slayer's Kerry King, when asked if Cradle Of Filth had been doing a raindance backstage at Ozzfest 2002.

"I won't bother retaliating. If you read what Kerry has said about other bands, I'd actually take that as a compliment from the old git."
The response from COF's Dani Davey.

"What did Jesus Christ really do? He hung out with hard-drinking fishermen."
Iggy Pop.

"We've got a long career ahead of us and it's going to be great. Trust me."
Dan Hawkins, The Darkness.

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."
Kurt Cobain.

"I'd rather be dead than cool."
Kurt Cobain again, speaking of whom...

"The whole grunge thing is so... wrong. It's non-music."
Ritchie Blackmore.

"One out of every 100 interviews I do, I get a real journalist."
Glenn Danzig.

More quotes HERE


2016 - www.daveling.co.uk - All Rights Reserved
Quotes Dave's shrine to CPFC Email Gallery Dave's Diary Sleevenotes Dave Ling on Facebook Picks Picks Playlist Articles by Dave Ling YouTube Of The Month Biography