Sunday 30th April
So Birmingham Shitty and their vile manager Steve 'Flatnosed
Judas' Bruce are relegated. Bruce famously broke his contract at Selhurst
Park to head up the M6, so it was apt that I was in Palace's Club Shop
buying my ticket for the play-offs when SS Brum finally slipped beneath
the waves.
Still chuckling heartily, it was off to the Underworld for a decidedly
mediocre Mortiis gig. Some of the 70-minute show was good, especially
two new and unannounced songs, but too much of his material sounds exactly
the same; blunt guitar riffs over stuttering industrial dance beats.
It was good to hear 'Smell The Witch' right at the end, but Mortiis'
more dance-flavoured material left me cold, as did the pockets of gay
disco-dancing that went on around me from start to finish (I kid you
not).
As most GN'R/Velvet Revolver fans will know, web gossip suggests that
Slash has quit VR. I've no evidence either way, but depending on who
you believe the problems began when Mrs Slash, Perla, took a role in
Velvet Revolver's management. Well, the ever-entertaining Metal
Sludge has reproduced a venomous posting from Arlett Vereecke, the
guitarist's publicist for the past 17 years. It states: "Slash
married a prostitute who's taking over his life, finances and business,
and got him involved in her voodoo business of killing animals, smearing
animal's blood on their bodies and filing lawsuits against everyone
they ever said hello to. Attorneys decline to represent Slash, managers
don't want him, VR would like to get rid of him, GN'R doesn't want anything
to do with him... all because of his wife's nastiness." And now
according to the Australian website Undercover,
that's exactly what he's done.
Oh yeah... forgot to mention yesterday that Luiz Felipe Scolari has
snubbed the offer to become England's manager, a mass media scrum outside
the Brazilian's house causing him to announce: "I don't like this
pressure so I will definitely not be coach of England." Probably
a good thing, if you ask me. Okay, I'm outta here to laugh a bit more
at Steve Bruce.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Saturday
29th April
Here's
something cool that I only just found; Rush have begun preparing the
follow-up to 2002's 'Vapor Trails' album (being comprised of covers,
I don't count 'Feedback' as a proper release). Drummer Neil Peart
has posted an excellent diary of the early stages at his website.
I love the imagery of three middle-aged Canadians hugging themselves
in the snow, getting all emotional about cooking for each other and
being absent minded enough to almost have left behind the CD of new
song ideas! I also deeply admire the fact that a percussionist as
advanced as Peart still has a drum tutor! Can't wait to hear the record,
especially as Neil calls the formative ideas "spiritual".
BTW, there are updates in the Ask Dave, Playlist and Quotes sections.
The Gallery also has a ludicrous photo from 1991 of myself with Biff
from Saxon that I found in an old copy of RAW magazine. Christ! I
really liked my kebabs in those days...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Friday 28th April
Further
to yesterday's entry about the English footie team, I'm hearing that
British Whale (aka Justin Hawkins) is releasing a World Cup single
via The Darkness' myspace page. Titled 'England', it reportedly includes
the lines: "We've fought them on the beaches/Now we'll play them
on the field". Attaboy!
Still pursuing a combat theme, Paul Di'Anno has launched a stinging
verbal attack on fellow former Iron Maiden frontman Blaze Bayley.
In a typically outspoken interview with www.MaidenNorway.com,
Di'Anno recalled the time in Istanbul that he shared a stage with
Bayley. "My God, he's a prick," Paul exclaimed to journalist
Pål Johansen. "He came up to do one song and couldn't remember
the words! 'Running Free'... [looks stunned]... How hard is that?"
How hard indeed.
P.S. Oh no! Messiah Marcolin has quit Candlemass during the recording
of a new album. The singer has of course left Candlemass before but
is now insisting this split is permanent. I'm absolutely gutted.
_ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Thursday 27th April
So the Football Association have apparently offered former
Brazil boss Luiz Felipe Scolari the chance to become England's next
manager. Nicknamed 'Big Phil' (why not 'Big Loo'?), Scolari has at
least won the World Cup with Brazil and took Portugal to the Finals
of Euro 2004. Though a proven winner, he's known to be outspoken and
a bit of a loose cannon. It's an interesting choice, and one that
I guess will be made before the big kick-off takes place. What makes
it even more fascinating is the possibility of Scolari knocking his
future employers out of the World Cup this summer with Portugal...
can you imagine the headlines?
As I type, there are now 43 days, 10 hours and 14 minutes until the
tournament kicks off. How odd that England are now rated as second
favourites - after Brazil. With the countdown well and truly underway,
last night Channel 5 screened a great documentary on the fierce footballing
rivalry between England and Germany. I'd forgotten about the shame
of the English team being forced into Nazi salutes before a game in
1938; at least we stuffed six past them in response - one better than
the 5-1 in 2001. What price renewing those age-old hostilities come
June, or even early July?!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Monday 24th April
"How fooking good it is for Saxon to be playing here
on fooking St George's Day?" These were the words with which
Biff Byford patriotically began a spectacular gig. Saxon had promised
to play songs from their first five albums, 'Saxon' through to 'Power
And The Glory', but eventually added both 'Crusader' and 'Lionheart'.
Byford's between-song patter was hilarious as ever. "As this
is an 80s show I was gonna wear my spandex again, but the wife wouldn't
let me," he quipped. Pantomime Dame Byford wound up the Astoria
by naming other cities and countries Saxon had played in the past
few days, or were due to visit. The crescendo of boos grew for Holland,
France, Scotland and of course Germany, then Biff began on upcoming
UK shows. Wolverhampton was greeted with derision ("There's nothing
wrong with Wolverhampton"), as was Norwich ("What's wrong
with Norwich, it's a nice place?"), the howls of dissaproval
peaking at the mention of Manchester ("Okay, I'll give ya Manchester,"
chuckled Biff gamely). And how's about this for a mouth-watering set-list:
'Motorcycle Man', 'Backs To The Wall', 'Strong Arm Of The Law', 'Never
Surrender', 'Stallions Of The Highway', 'The Power And The Glory',
'Frozen Rainbow', 'Suzie Hold On', 'The Eagle Has Landed', 'Dallas
1PM', 'Redline', 'To Hell And Back Again', 'And The Bands Played On',
'Crusader', '20,000 Feet', 'Stand Up And Be Counted' and 'Princess
Of The Night', then encores of: 'Lionheart', '747 (Strangers In The
Night)', 'Heavy Metal Thunder', Doug Scarratt guitar solo/'Wheels
Of Steel' and 'Denim And Leather'. Props also to openers Blitzkrieg
for 45 minutes of rampaging British metal and some quite hilarious
wardrobe choices.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Sunday 23rd April
Well, Palace scraped home against Southampton yesterday by
two goals to one, but it was a hollow victory. If we perform like
that in the play-offs we'll be murdered. How nice it was to see their
'keeper Kevin Miller again - not. The porksome Miller once stoodly
idly and conceded six goals whilst wearing a CPFC jersey in a game
against QP-hahaha. It was a shameful display that a lump of lard could
easily have surpassed, and Lazy Fatboy later quit the club in a row
over money, adding Greed to his impressive repertoire. To say that
he was made aware of the fans' contempt would be an understatement...
Getting down to some serious surfing after my week away, I was fascinated
by a candid interview with former Journey manager Herbie Herbert at
Classic
Rock Revisited. In no uncertain terms and using language a docker
would be proud of, Herbert explains his role in the band's formation,
offering no-holds-barred comments about singer Steve Perry ("A
real consummate piece of excrement, just a bad person") and guitarist/keyboard
player Jonathan Cain ("A total piece of shit; a fuckin' asshole").
If you're a Journey fan, it's a must-read.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Saturday 22nd April
The brief radio silence was due to an extended Easter break.
I was gutted to have missed Bob Catley at the Underworld on Monday
and also a gig by Cannibal Corpse, but there ya go. Was hoping to
take in a live gig at the Lings' choice of holiday location but there
was nothing going on in Ipswich or Norwich, and although Freddie Starr
had a date in Great Yarmouth, I've never liked the sight of hamster
blood.
The strains of the new House Of Lords album, 'World Turned Upside
Down', were helpful as I spent all of yesterday afternoon opening
the post and deleting a mountain of e-spam. The band's last album,
'The Power And The Myth' was pretty dreadful, so it's splendid to
hear them playing full-on melodic pomp once more. If you're a fan
of Femme Fatale or Vixen, the following might also be of interest.
Lorraine Lewis, erstwhile vocalist of the former, has formed a new
band called Rocktopuss with ex-Madam X/Vixen tub-thumper Roxy Petrucci.
They're calling it "fresh modern rock with melody and teeth",
and the rough tracks at their MySpace
site certainly have potential. Also been playing Live's new album,
'Songs From The Black Mountain', a cracking collection of tunes.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Tuesday 18th April
Great news - my favourite new band of the moment The
Sword have lined up their debut British tour, including a show
at London's Scala on May 14. Won't be missing that one for the world.
One gig that I wasn't able to catch was Dream Theater's 20th anniversary
show at Radio City Music Hall in New York. Fortunately, my friend
and Classic Rock colleague Rich
Wilson just got back and has graciously agreed to share some of
the many photos he took.
Rich is currently writing a book on the band, which I can't wait to
read. Of the gig he says: "With all 6,000 tickets sold, the
band had enlisted the services of a 20-piece orchestra for the second
half of the three-hour show. The likes of 'Metropolis' and the entire
'Six Degrees Of Inner Turbulence' suite were given a whole new dimension.
You could tell the band were moved and drummer Mike Portnoy was even
close to tears at several points during. For those not fortunate enough
to be there, they plan to release a DVD and CD set later in the year."
Another event which belongs under the heading 'great news' is
that Millwank, Brighton and Crewe all got their scum-uppance yesterday.
The Championship feels a fresher and cleaner place already.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Sunday 16th April
I'm
an extremely pissed-off budgie. Yesterday's erratic performance against
lowly Crewe was a microcosm of Crystal Palace's 95/96 season, convincing
me that we've no chance in the play-offs. At times we played like
it was an exhibition game, passing the ball around beautifully and
thanks to the returning Marco Reich looking dangerous with just about
every attack. 2-0 up at half-time, the result should've been a formality
but a breakaway goal and then a silly penalty contrived to hand two
precious points to one of the most inept teams I've seen in a very
long time indeed. Humphh...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Saturday
15th April
According to Bonnie Raitt, who last night played an excellent
Hammersmith Apollo gig, "spring has finally sprung". Yes
indeed, warmer weather and the World Cup are just around the corner
- 55 days and counting as I type - and having seen her opening for
Eric Clapton a while back it was great to finally catch one of Raitt's
headline shows. A great slide player with a powerful and rich voice,
it's hard to believe she's in her late fifties. Jeez, she's like Sheryl
Crow with talent. The early part of the 100-minute set focussed on
Bonnie's current and 18th album 'Souls Alike' album ('Unnecessarily
Mercenary', 'God Was In The Water' and 'I Will Not Be Broken'), but
many of the night's most enjoyable tunes were written by other artists,
notably a livewire rendition of 'I Believe I'm In Love' by the Fabulous
Thunderbirds and a so-laid-back-it's-almost-horizontal cover of Sippie
Wallace's 'Women Be Wise' that first appeared on her self-titled debut
back in 1971.
On a completely different tangent, Grumpy Old Men has to be one of
the best programmes on British TV. For those unfamiliar with this
gem of a show, it features men of a certain age (including Rick Wakeman
from Yes) moaning and bitching about modern society's terminal decline.
Subjects scathingly addressed last night included mobile phones, the
postal service and the utter toss that passes for music and cinema
these days. My favourite part of the show was toff actor Nigel Havers
losing his rag over expensive bottled water, tap water being (supposedly)
free. "I'm buggered if I'm going to give my money to some...
to some.. French arse. Yes, a French arse," stammered Havers,
his trademark sophistication forgotten in a wave contempt for Gallic
entrepreneurs everywhere. Top marks, posh fella.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Friday 14th April
Loads
more interesting albums have been arriving. Gotta admit, I was a little
disappointed by the blandness of Saga's new opus, 'Trust', though
of course I'll still be checking out the veteran Canadian pomp supremos
at London's Garage on May 24. Was never too much of a Creed fan (to
put it mildly), but that band's ex-singer Scott Stapp's solo debut
'The Great Divide' is way better than feared, as is 'Free', the second
release from Dream Theater sticksman Mike Portnoy's side project Office
Of Strategic Influence. And how cool it is that five of Warrior Soul's
albums are being re-issued by Escapi Records (the exception being
1996's swansong, 'F**ker'), all complete with bonus tracks. I hadn't
heard 1990's debut 'Last Decade, Dead Century' for many a long year...
Jeez, it's stood the test of time magnificently.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Thursday 13th April
The postman has been especially kind this past few days,
and aside from my luvvly re-issue of UFO's 'Strangers In The Night',
the Ling Towers Death Deck has rumbled incessantly to the joyous strains
of Roadstar's 'Grand Hotel'. Full of rousing choruses, this is probably
one of the best hard rock debut albums of recent years; not a bad
song to be heard. I've had a rough CD copy of it for quite a while,
but the newly tweaked track-listing is a huge improvement.
The excellent Gotthard also have a great live CD called 'Made In Switzerland',
complete with rather
silly sleeve. If you like the idea of a band that crosses latter-era
Whitesnake with AOR tendencies, this is an album/DVD (though I've
only heard the audio) to snap up when it hits the racks on April 28.
Over in the land of extreme metal, but still with a Swiss passport,
Celtic Frost's new 'Monotheist' is a stunningly dark and malevolently
brooding piece of work. The promo has sat on my desk for about a week,
and to be honest I was put off by the horribly intrusive bleeps that
the label have inserted to prevent it from being pirated ahead of
a May 29 release date, but put them from your mind and 'Monotheist'
is one helluva comeback disc. Oh... and to show I listen to more than
just heavy metal, 'Rollback', the new album from Irish veterans Horslips
hits the spot, too. I'm also looking forward to seeing blues-country
icon Bonnie Raitt at the Hammersmith Apollo tomorrow night. This rock
music malarky is a broad church!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Tuesday 11th April
There are three great pieces of news this morning. Firstly,
congratulations to my old Classic Rock mucker Jerry Ewing, who became
a father at 5.29am - which must've been unusual as that's the time
he's usually trying to find the door to exit the Crobar. Baby Roxy
weighs in at a healthy 7lbs. Given the way that Monsewer Spewing has
come out in sympathy with long-suffering partner Adair via a pregancy
of his own, I suspect he'll make a kind and considerate dad.
Secondly, Anthrax's gig at the Astoria last night ruled. As a big
fan of the John Bush line-up, like everyone else I'm flummoxed by
Scott Ian's stubborn refusal to explain why the band would've folded
had Joey Belladonna and Danny Spitz not returned to the fold. But
as an exercise in pure nostalgia, I'd not witnessed anything better
than this since Maiden's 'Ed Hunter' tour in 1999. The band played
just about everything you could've wished for - 'Among The Living',
'Metal Thrashing Mad', 'Got The Time', 'Caught In A Mosh', 'AIR',
'A Skeleton In The Closet', 'Antisocial', 'Efilnikufesin (NFL)', 'Medusa',
'Indians', 'Be All, End All', 'I'm The Man', 'Aftershock' and 'I Am
The Law' - and there was also a rousing opening set from ex-Priest
singer Tim 'Ripper' Owens' new band, Beyond Fear.
And lastly, I'm getting a tax rebate. Hallelujah! Yes, the Inland
Revenue say that I've overpaid them this year by the princely sum
of £3.24. That almost but not quite covers the copy of Babe
Ruth's 1976 album 'Kid's Stuff' that I unearthed at the Record &
Tape Exchange last night.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Sunday 9th April
I'm
still fuming at Palace's appalling display up at Leicester on Friday.
Key refereeing decisions might have changed the result if they'd gone
our way, but despite Iain Dowie's claims that the Eagles "dominated
the second half", we never looked like winning. Thanks to yesterday's
defeats for Brighton and Scumwall, there can be no way back for either
club. With Scumwall announcing that sections of their ground will
be closed next season, and attendances already as tiny as the brains
of their fans, relegation might just end up sounding their death knell.
Given that their motto is: "No-one likes us, we don't care",
you could even say the wounds are self-inflicted.
Further cheer arrived yesterday morning in the shape of promos of
Whitesnake's first three albums; 'Trouble' (1978), 'Lovehunter' (1979)
and 'Ready An' Willing' (1980), all complete with bonus tracks and
sleeve notes from Geoff Barton. The timing was most apt, as I'm currently
transcribing an interview with Bernie Marsden for a career-encompassing
anthology to be released this summer.
Thanks also to my good friend Nigel Glazier, who emailed some very
cool photos he took at the Judas Priest/Scorpions gig at the Albert
Hall and has allowed me to share them with you HERE.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Friday 7th April
Once more the fabled cry rang out around Selhurst, "Stevie
Coppell's Red 'n' Blue Army". Yes, last night Sir Steve led out
a Palace XI to compete with Manchester United (confused? See yesterday's
entry). Unfortunately I missed the exact moment of the teams' appearance
as I was reminiscing about the original 1990 match with Harry James
from Thunder. I had no idea that Harry wasn't at Wembley on that legendary
day; playing a gig at Keele University instead.
The score was 3-1 to United, Ian Wright volleying a peach for Palace
and sprinting the length of the pitch to kiss his shirt in front of
the Holmesdale stand, but the game was a lot closer than the score
suggests. John Salako ran his socks off and Richard Shaw, who still
plays for Coventry, looked scarily like he did as a Palace player.
The same couldn't be said for Andy Thorn or Andy Gray, who both appeared
to be hiding medicine balls under their shirts - but much respect
for giving it their best anyway. One of the night's biggest shocks
was a decent performance from Simon Jordan, who seems a better crosser
of the ball than some of the club's players. Maybe he should get himself
an agent?! It said much for the event's spirit that Coppell sent on
goalie Perry Suckling to replace the knackered Wright. Around 15,000
fans turned up, which was just about respectable. On the other hand,
Thomas' next charity endeavour is the world's toughest endurance cycling
race - 3,052 miles across 14 US states, non-stop night and day from
West to East coast, with a time limit of less than 10 days. God bless
him.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Thursday
6th April
Awoke
at 5am this morning and couldn't get back to sleep with excitement.
Tonight at Selhurst Park, former Crystal Palace and England hero Geoff
Thomas is putting on an ambitious re-staging of the club's most
famous game of all time. Back in 1990 the Eagles made the FA
Cup Final at Wembley Stadium for the first (and only) time in
our existence. It turned out to be a fairy tale experience. Firmly
cast as underdogs, despite having despatched the 'mighty' Liverpool
4-3 in a nail-biting Semi Final, we were 2-1 down with an hour gone
when manager Steve Coppell took a last throw of the dice. Still recovering
from two broken legs, Ian Wright came off the bench to net a pair
of wonder goals. I admit, I was beside myself with emotion (even though
I was in the ManUre end... long story!): Palace were finally gonna
win the FA-fuggin'-Cup! There were eight minutes to go when that Welsh
cocksucker Ma*k Hu**es shattered the dreams of Eagles fans with an
undeserved equaliser. The replay was a non-event; you only ever get
one bite at the cherry with such crucial games, and so it proved.
Fast forward to 2003 and Geoff Thomas is given three years to live
after being diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukaemia. A bone marrow
transplant later he is in remission, but makes it the rest of his
life's work to raise funds for leukaemia research. Incredibly, Thomas
generated £170,000 by completing the Tour De France in 2004.
With all proceeds going to charity, Sir Steve Coppell will lead Palace
out again tonight, Alex Fergiescum doing the honours for the Reds,
and virtually all the stars of the original game have pledged to appear,
including Wright, Mark Bright, Nigel Martyn, Eric 'The Ninja' Young
and John Salako for Palace; Iain Dowie and chairman Simon Jordan also
joining the CPFC squad. Hughes, Dwight Yorke, Gary Pallister, Mickey
Thomas and the vile Steve Bruce will be among those turning out for
the Mancs. The result is immaterial, of course, but with Dermot 'Palace
Hater' Gallagher refereeing you can bet there'll be a 12th man to
beat. No matter.
Amazingly, tickets are still available (adults £20, kids £5).
If you're a fan of either club, or a footie fan with a heart, the
only acceptable excuse not to be in SE25 tonite is if you're having
a bone marrow transplant of your own.
Back to music... Yesterday morning I spoke to Jaz Coleman from Killing
Joke. His band's latest album 'Hosannas From The Basements Of Hell'
is quite extraordinary, and what an amazing fella. His comments about
last year's support tour with Mötley Crüe were hilarious
("their collective IQ barely touches room temperature")
and could easily have filled a page of the mag on their own!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Wednesday 5th April
Did an enjoyable interview with Joe Elliott about the splendid
'Yeah!' yesterday. I hadn't twigged that the Steve Priest imitation
on 'Hellraiser' is by none other than Justin Hawkins from The Dorkness,
or that it's Phil Collen that sings 'Stay With Me'. Music chat aside,
the poor deluded fool is still convinced that Sheff Utd will seal
automatic promotion to the Premiership. When I reminded Joe that I
support Palace, who must still play his beloved Blades on the last
day of the season, the singer's bluster remained undiminished. However,
he did tell a great story about having sat next to actor Sean Bean
at 1997's Wembley play-off final. David Hopkin's injury time curler
restored Palace to the top flight that day with pretty much the match's
last kick. "Sean didn't say a word all game, then the ball hit
the back of our net and he went, 'Foookin' 'ell' and left. Now that
was a cultured opinion," Joe recalled with a laugh.
Just before our interview, the postie delivered a prize goodie - a
re-issue of UFO's immortal double live album 'Strangers In The Night'
on CD, complete with re-mastered sound, extended booklet and sleeve
notes. Bit of a fuggin' result, I'd say.
Also received an email from Jakob Herrmann, the editor of Drummer's
Digest. In case you missed it last week, I took a sneaky potshot
at them, suggesting that drummers are so stupid that they pay their
techs to read to their illiterate employers. "Actually, they
do it for free," reveals Jakob, happy to set the record straight.
"Roadying for drummers is charity work, didn't you know?"
Thanks for that, now please paradiddle off...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Tuesday 4th April
I've been hearing so much good feedback to last Friday's
Royal Albert Hall charity fund-raiser. The show apparently ended with
all the bands taking to the stage to join in a version of Priest's
'Take On The World' in a 'We Are The World' stylée. Sounds
corny on paper, I admit, but there were more than a few moist eyes
in the crowd. This morning I received an email from Barbara Schenker,
enthusing about the event and Ian Gillan's "fab new body shape"
(?*!), closing with the line: "My brother [Rudolf, of the Scorps]
and I missed you. Everybody was there, but youuuuuu!" Hey...
rub it in a little more, why doncha??!!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Monday 3rd April
Wow, never had Mike Portnoy down as a man for Scott Weiland-style
rants, but Dream Theater's drummer has finally snapped at Queensrÿche
singer Geoff Tate's baiting. "Geoff Tate is a two-faced douche
bag. Since he has begun doing 'Operation: Mindcrime II' press, he's
been consistently bashing Dream Theater and even me personally in
the press... (why, I have no idea?). But I'm tired of biting my tongue
when he obviously can't," says Mike. "His new name should
be Geoff Taint. Screw him... he's now on my shitlist."
This past weekend had its fair share of ups and downs. On the negative
side, a fox wiped out all our chickens on Sunday morning. Yes, it's
RIP to Jerry The Chicken. Taking her cue from Ted Nugent, Mrs L has
invested in an air rifle, so the fox'll get a new arsehole bored should
it ever return to Ling Towers.
On a happier note, Leeds and Sheff Utd both failed to win on Saturday,
and Br***ton's win at Scumwall leaves both clubs in a worse predicament
than ever, League One football now all but unavoidable. Hurrah! My
mood was brightened still further by an email from Alexa Anastasia,
she of Paul Sabu-produced album fame. Alexa's self-titled debut was
well received when it came out in 1989 and is just about to be re-issued
by MTM Music. Her disappearance was almost as mysterious as that of
the Mary Celeste; one minute soaking up great reviews, the next impersonating
Lord Lucan. "I'm still around, still rockin!" she reveals,
even attaching a photo to
prove it wasn't a wind-up. Alexa is "ecstatic" that the
album is to be available again. "Thank you for the cool review,"
she says of a critique that's just about to appear in Classic Rock.
"Oh and the dancing naked bit, Dave... you're bad."
Hahahaha... you know it!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Saturday 1st April
Well, last night's victory over Watford brought three more
very welcome points for the mighty Eagles. And I'm still laughing
at CPFC superemo Simon Jordan's rant about the Birmingham Shitty's
boardroom ("They sell dildos for a living. That gives you a judgement
on what they may or may not be. If Birmingham go down, am I going
to shed a tear? No. Because the best thing about Birmingham is the
road out"). Couldn't have put it better myself.
As the Watford game proceeded, my mobile kept buzzing with texts from
friends watching the Judas Priest/Scorpions gig at the Albert Hall.
"Ze Bad Boys Are Running Vild", was a choice one from Jerry
Ewing. Apparently I missed a blinding evening, which none other than
Bruce Dickinson introduced. In Gillan's line-up of friends included
Roger Glover and Thunder's Harry James, plus Steve Morris and Dean
Howard, while according to Malcolm Dome, Priest and the Scorps were
both "outrageously good". You may not believe this, but
a few alcoholic beverages were sunk afterwards.... never! Anyway,
all is not lost - I'm sitting here with a watermarked promo of Def
Leppard's long-awaited covers album, 'Yeah!' (out on June 5) and it's
stonking good, especially their versions of 'Hellraiser' by The Sweet,
Blondie's 'Hanging On The Telephone', 'Waterloo Sunset' by The Kinks
and the rampant closing strains of 'Stay With Me' by The Faces. The
perfect party soundtrack...
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